Black and White
by MsBellaBones
Summary: Oy, a summary. Okay...Take one Dr. Gregory House; add one set of sick twins and their “unique” family members. Season with sarcasm to taste & accidentally drop in a bottle of drama and a pinch or three of surprise. It's better than it sounds!


iDisclaimer Type Thing: House and all his pretty little playthings are not mine, nor are the grounds in which they play. If they were…well…. Tee hee, life at PPTH would probably be MUCH more interesting. ^_~ Ubeta'ed so any/all mistakes are ones I made and missed on the edit process. Point 'em out if you want them fixed peoples!/i

A blue eyed man was currently lying on a hospital bed of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey, wondering when he was going to die. Granted, he was specifically wondering if it was physically possible to perish from boredom, but tomatoe, tomatoh. Dr. Gregory House had conned his three little ducklings into taking care of his clinic hours for him so he could dodge the lovely and loathsome (to him at least) occasional banshee in human form known as Dr. Lisa Cuddy, which was much easier than it should have been today. But seeing as it was two weeks before Thanksgiving; there wasn't exactly all that much going on in PPTH other than the usual collection of moronic human tricks and of course there were the random collective of dim-witted sick people that wandered into the clinic, but House did his damndest to avoid that cesspool of illness and stupidity. House was currently hiding in an empty room, channel surfing in an attempt to dodge Cuddy and her bitching. His cane lay in the bed beside him as he switched to yet another channel.

"House, you have a case," Cuddy entered the room and dropped a case file into his lap before walking back out. "And stop watching television in empty rooms!" she called over her shoulder.

"Nice to see you too! Your breasts look extra perky today!" House called after her, turning the file around in his lap to read it before deciding whether or not it was worth getting out of the bed. Scanning the file quickly House's brow furrowed, then one side quirked up in an expression akin to a favored Vulcan, just a bit rougher on his five o'clock shadowed face. "Interesting." Swinging his legs carefully over the side of the bed he picked up his cane and went off in search of his ducklings in his trademark swaggering limp.

*****

"All right kiddies, gather 'round!" House motioned for the recently-summoned trio of doctors. Having rescued them from the hell known as the clinic, House waited patiently-all of three point seven seconds-for them to sit down. His leg gave a rather vicious throb as he leaned, prompting him to take a seat atop his desk behind him rather than meander the few feet to a chair. "So! We have a sixteen year old girl that collapsed this morning for no apparent reason!" House pointed his cane at his three ducklings. "Well? Do you have any thoughts?" he prompted when there was silence. Dr. Kutner was the first to speak.

"According to the attending, the patient presented in the ER with cold-like symptoms. She's got a cold. Fever, nausea, dizziness, and cough. If she was high or sleep deprived, it could explain the collapse," Kutner looked to Thirteen and Taub.

House mimicked the buzzing sound from the old TV game shows and rolled his eyes. "If it was just a simple cold, I would be catching _General Hospital _with our resident stimulating conversationalist Coma Guy instead of talking to you three twits."

"But he's in a coma," Kutner was briefly confused.

"It's called irony!" House finally found the stupid marker that had been hiding on his desk in plain sight. Didn't it suck when inanimate objects did that? "Keep reading my dear ducklings, once they got her into a bed she seemed to be suffering from delirium, restlessness, auditory and visual hallucinations, and difficulty breathing."

"Could be drugs," Taub cut Kutner off before he could stick his foot any further in his mouth. "A bad batch of some hallucinogenic explains everything."

"Except her tox screen came back negative for any drugs beside the naproxen sodium she told them she had taken before coming to the hospital," Thirteen pointed out. "And according to the patient, she's not doing anything stronger than Diet Mountain Dew."

House rose to scrawl the multiple symptoms on the white board and winced slightly as his leg gave another painful pulse, his back to his diagnostic team. "Everyone lies, Thirteen, haven't we discovered that one yet?" House scowled at her, easing into a chair as his leg gave another a particularly painful throb. "Next guess from the crowd please?" House dry swallowed the third Vicodin of the day and waited for the next suggestion he could shoot down. "And it isn't Lupus."

Thirty-seven minutes later, the four doctors were no closer to agreeing what was killing their new patient that fit all the symptoms. However, all four did have to agree that they couldn't do much of any testing until her parents arrived to approve anything other than live-saving procedures.

"House, the family is here," Cuddy poked her head into the room.

"Oh good, let's go see what Daddy dearest knows about his daughter's nefarious drug problem," House levered himself up out of the chair and past Cuddy, his trio of diagnosticians flocking behind him.

"Play nice today, House," Cuddy walked along beside him, with Thirteen keeping pace with her and Kutner and Taub on the other side of House as they rounded the corner.

House nearly managed the 'I am offended at the mere suggestion' expression but it was defeated by the smirk creeping across his face.

"House, I'm serious…" Cuddy tried again but they were too close to the patient's room for the warning to be repeated. "Mrs. Dimitri? This is Dr. House; he is the diagnostician treating your daughter." They barely entered the room and stopped, following House's halt just inside the door.

"It's not good form to appear like I actually care," House stage whispered to Cuddy, who simply smacked him with the file in her hand. "What?"

Dark honey colored eyes quickly scanned over House as the mother looked briefly over her shoulder at him, snow still melting on her leather jacket and the cherry red newspaper boy cap she wore. The further sarcastic remark died on House's tongue as she met his insolent gaze calmly and dry eyed. Apparently some part of him still knew when to shut up to avoid bodily harm. That or the pain in his leg shut him up as it throbbed viciously.

"Thank you for the introduction, Dr. Cuddy. I am pleased to make your acquaintance Dr. House." The formal phrases were murmured in a quiet voice with a brief nod of acknowledgement for the trio of doctors standing barely behind House.

"I doubt that'll stay true for long," House muttered under his breath, now looking past the mother to the girls on the bed. Mrs. Dimitri smirked for an instant at his muttered remark, then turned back and refocused her attention on her daughters. One was laying deathly pale in the hospital bed and the more robust looking mirror image was now seated carefully beside the bed in a chair, holding a limp hand in her grasp with tears gathering in her eyes.

"Still, it is nice to meet you at the moment," Mrs. Dimitri said, watching her daughter carefully interacting with her sleeping matching half, smoothing her hair back from her face and whispering to her. "Since you will be helping save my daughter's life and all."

"Yeah, likewise," House muttered, his attention momentarily diverted when he saw Dr. James Wilson walk by with two cups of coffee in his hands. He'd have to look into why Wilson was carrying two delicious looking cups of coffee later…like when he went to steal him lunch from him in about an hour.

Mrs. Dimitri watched her daughters, silently wishing she had her camera with her. It was still early enough in the morning for the light to come slanting gently through the east-facing window. While the situation was less than ideal,

"The twins will want a minute alone," Mrs. Dimitri said quietly taking two steps backwards before turning and leaving the room and motioning the doctors out before her.

"Twins?" House managed to cut off the rather naughty statement with help from Cuddy's elbow to his stomach. "I didn't know she had a twin." Cuddy glared another warning to be nice and wandered off, her destination unknown to those staring at the quiet mother.

"Yes. My girls are identical twins, as I am sure you have noticed by now. Valentina Sophia Dimitri was born first and Victoria Anastasia Dimitri joined the world seven minutes later, both on Valentine's Day of 92." Mrs. Dimitri stared through the glass at the girl shifting restlessly on the hospital bed as she was spoken to by her womb mate but did not respond, tossing and turning her head on her pillow.

"Which one do we have again?" House inquired in the general direction of his diagnostic team, missing the narrow eyed glare that Mrs. Dimitri gave him.

Thirteen helpfully leaned close and whispered at a more tactful volume "We have Valentina as a patient. The sister is Victoria."

"Good to know," House nodded sagely, practically hearing the triple eye roll taking place behind him.

"Tori, meaning Victoria, was completely kicking herself on the ride here as she and Tina had a bit of a tiff a few days ago that Val would rather be dying than do the dishes on her day." Mrs. Dimitri gave a bit of a chuckle, shaking her head. "I don't think that Valentina would…Never mind. I'm babbling." She shook her head as if to clear it from the urge to prattle on and squared her shoulders, yanking off her cap and shoving it in her coat pocket as she continued observing her daughters. The rather distressed mother ran one hand through her hat-frizzed hair that was the color of 70% cacao dark chocolate, barely contained in a braid that ended just above the small of her back. She sighed and stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jacket.

"Wait a second; let me get this straight, you named your kid-who was born on Valentine's Day Valentina? Points for originality," House rolled his eyes, mildly annoyed when all the somber Mrs. Dimitri did was smirk over her shoulder.

It was then House noticed a distinct lack of something in Mrs. Dimitri: age.

"The twins are sixteen," he stated aloud, his eyes narrowing as Mrs. Dimitri turned around fully to face him. He quickly took in her appearance; very nice breasts contained tastefully in a v-cut plum cashmere sweater framed accidentally by the cherry red scarf she wore now draped about her neck, dark jeans over scarred black boots completing her modest outfit. There was no jewelry or nail polish on her hands, and since they were currently resting on rather curvy hips he took a moment to check. "Either my math is wrong or you're a lot older than you look."

"Oh?" Mrs. Dimitri looked bored, her hand still resting on her hips. "I can't just possibly be incredibly good looking for my age?" She didn't wait for a response from House, simply continued speaking. "I wasn't aware that you had to get carded to have a child, Doctor House."

"Unless you had the twins at the age of eight, they're not yours," House frowned, his eyes again drawn to the neckline of her top. He also noticed a small, quarter-sized silver locket hanging about her neck. "So whose kids are they?" House's grip on his cane tightened, white knuckled as his leg protested the extended movement and standing.

"How very sensitive you are, Dr House," she frowned at him, glancing briefly at his tense hand. "You bedside manner is positively stellar." Rolling her eyes she shifted slightly, to look over her shoulder at the happy sounding cry that was heard from within the room. "They are mine, Dr. House," Mrs. Dimitri raised a hand to the locket and toyed with it as she turned back around fully to see into her daughter's room. "And since you were so transfixed, I'm a triple D. Now stop staring."

With that offhanded comment and the following command; Mrs. Dimitri stepped into the room where Victoria was now carefully helping Valentina take small sips of water from a plastic cup. She was still deathly pale and shifting restlessly on her bed, but she was awake and her eyes were open, so it was an improvement.

"Tina," Mrs. Dimitri left the door open behind her as she stepped into her daughter's room almost hesitantly. She stopped a few feet away from her daughter's bed, seemingly torn.

"Mama," Valentina's voice was a bit rough, but otherwise sweet. "Can I have a hug?"

Mrs. Dimitri seemed to bridge the gap between her two daughters and herself in a single fluid motion, gently cradling the now quietly weeping Tina to her chest and wrapping an arm around the openly sobbing Tori as she flew around the bed. "And it would be 'may I', for future reference," Mrs. Dimitri said, smiling when both girls gave musical but watery laughs.

"Yes Mother," the twins said, both clinging to her.

"Well, may I," Tori emphasized the phrase to make her sister smile, "go and raid the vending machines? I'm starved." Mrs. Dimitri nodded and Tori nearly skipped out of the room, only pausing when Tina called her name.

"Tori? See if you can get some of those black and white cookies," the bed bound sibling requested.

"Okie dokie artichokie!" Tori smiled sweetly, brushing past an annoyed looking House and three silent diagnosticians.

iA/N: So, I wasn't actually let this get beyond like a 1k blurb idea…and then my stepmama fell off her bed and broke her shoulder and dislocated her shoulder into the joint. Talented woman she is! -__-; SO! This is a "stay awake until 5 am when you took Nyquil at midnight because you're sick for the near second week in a row and you need something to focus on until you get the call that she hasn't permanently crippled herself with drunken antics" time killer that has become more…. At least two more chapters that I know of. Tori and Tina haven't told me how far I'm supposed to go with this…Nor has House. Might have to bribe him with free cable or something… Perhaps Wilson would be so kind as to actually make an appearance next chapter instead of the dash-by sighting such as in this chapter.

Also, reviews are loved and thanked at the beginning of the next chapter. See a grammatical/spelling error my faulty eyes and/or spell check may have missed? If you do please point it out to be fixed! ^_^

Danke and much love to anyone who leaves a review….even a flame. They make good smores. /i

Lots of muse-cookies!

BellaB.


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